


Malfoy's Don't Drink Tequila

by slyth_princess



Series: The Art of Learning [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyth_princess/pseuds/slyth_princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's nearing the end of the year, and that always makes Draco a bit nostalgic. It's also the end of a century, and he decided there are a few things he needs to come clean about. But when he has a few too many drinks with his best friend, Pansy Parkinson, he ends up spilling a story no one was ever supposed to find out.</p>
<p>Otherwise known as the unfortunate circumstances in which Draco Malfoy came out.</p>
<p>This is a companion piece to Can't Go On</p>
            </blockquote>





	Malfoy's Don't Drink Tequila

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion fic to the main story, Can't Go On. While you don't have to read that story to understand this one, having read it will understand why I wrote it. This is just a bit of humor fluff that acts as a prequel to that piece. It has not been fully beta'd as of now, and I will edit it when it has been, but I really wanted you guys to be able to read it as I've had it waiting for a beta for months. I hope you enjoy it!

**December 14, 1999**

**  
**

_My Dearest Pansy,_

_**  
** _

_It has been far too long since we have spoken, and I have greatly missed you. I daresay I can count on one hand the number of times we have even spoken since graduation. So much has happened, so many things have changed. I would very much enjoy meeting with you soon. With the coming of the new millenium, I have become quite contemplative. I have so many regrets, have kept so many things inside. Even from you, my closest friend. So, my intention going into this new phase is to wipe as many slates clean as I can. It is with this in mind that I pen you this missive._

_**  
** _

_At a time of your choosing I would like to take you out for drinks. We have much to catch up on. Normally I would invite you to the Manor, but things here have not been entirely pleasant as of late. If you have the time, I was thinking we could meet at Honeyduke’s, if only for nostalgia’s sake. After all, it was where I took you out for the first time. Please respond to this at your earliest convenience, as I eagerly await your reply._

_**  
** _

_Truly Yours,_

_Draco Malfoy_

****  
  


**December 28, 1999**

**  
**

It was nearly a quarter to three when Draco Malfoy found himself sauntering toward Honeyduke’s. It was a particularly cold night in Hogsmeade. It had recently snowed, covering the ground and all the buildings in a fluffy white blanket, which was Draco’s favorite way to visit the town and always had been. There was something nice about the weather this way. It was almost as if the snow made everything softer. The edges of building became less harsh, the cracks in the cobbles in the road were filled until they disappeared. But above all of that, Draco’s favorite part of the snowy weather was it’s way to make everything quieter. Somehow it seemed that, when the world was covered in snow, the sounds of peoples voices and footsteps seemed to fade into nothing more than a whisper. It made the entire world feel more magical somehow.

**  
**

As much as he had always loved the beautiful Christmas decorations and the fresh dusting of snow, he was grateful that Pansy had wanted to meet after the Christmas holiday. During the weeks leading up to it, the streets of Hogsmeade would be so lined with people that you could barely breathe and there would have been no opportunity for a private conversation like the one he intended for today. Looking around the shop, there were only a few people still perusing the multicolored shelves of various treats that carried him back to his childhood. As his eyes slowly moved over cauldron cakes and mice pops, the corners of his lips involuntarily curled upwards into the ghost of a smile. Many of his favorite memories had started here. Whether it was buying too many sugar quills with Crabbe and Goyle, charming an acid pop to look like a neverending rainbow lolly before giving it to Millicent Bulstrode, or taking Pansy here for no-melt ice cream on their first date, he could scarcely imagine his childhood without this store. The nostalgia made him sigh loudly maybe try: “made him sigh aloud”, earning him a glare from the portly witch nearby, which he responded to with his signature sneer. Life had been so simple back then, and his life lately had been anything but. Though, he mused, at least he is rarely bored.

**  
**

After a few minutes of aimless wandering, he heard the slight jingle of the bell above the front door, turned, and smiled. Pansy is, predictably, early. Draco can’t remember the last time she arrived somewhere with less than ten minutes to spare. It is refreshing to know that, at least some things, are never going to change. Also predictably, she looked fantastic. Though not the most beautiful girl in school, she had certainly learned to adapt as she had gotten older. Today her mousey brown hair was curled and swept back into a messy bun. She had forgone traditional robes in favor of a plum colored velour dress that clung to her curves, perfectly displaying her slim figure and she had done a marvelous job of distracting people from the unfortunate situation of her puglike face with a combination of subtle glamours and expertly applied make up. Were this another life, Draco might have even been attracted to her.

**  
**

As it were, the reason he was actually here came crashing back to him. There was nothing in him looking forward to this conversation. After clearing his throat and straightening his emerald tie, he slid his confident mask into place and closed the gap between himself and his life-long friend. “Pansy, it’s so wonderful to see you,” he said, placing a small kiss on  either of her cheeks.

**  
**

Pansy smiled brightly in return. “Oh Draco, it has been too long. You are looking quite handsome today,” she said, eyes trailing languidly up and down his frame. The look made his blood run cold and he suppressed a shudder.

**  
**

Though he does have to admit, he does look quite dashing today. Recently, he got into a rather heated row with his father and had taken off to Milan. Spending his parents money always seemed to ease his woes, and that day his goal had been to  expand his wardrobe. And a mere 1,200 Galleons later, he certainly had achieved his goal. The ensemble he was in today was one of his purchases. His favorite piece was the black cashmere jumper, under which he layered a crisp white button up and emerald green tie. Over the top, he wore a smart charcoal blazer with silver pinstripes and buttons and he finished the outfit with polished obsidian, dragon’s hide boots. All in all, the outfit made him feel quite posh. “That’s quite kind of you. You are looking quite striking today as well,” he replied, shaking off his discomfort.

**  
**

“Oh stop it you,” she said, linking her arm into the crook of Draco’s. “So, I have to ask. Why the sudden insistence to meet? I mean, it’s not as if I mind, but it does seem rather urgent.”

**  
**

Draco regarded her with a cool smile before replying. “You are, as usual, correct. But I think I would rather discuss the matter over drinks, what do you say?” He patted her hand, as he directed her toward the door again.

**  
**

“That sounds wonderful. The Hogs Head, then?” she suggested.

**  
**

Draco simply nodded, and held open the door for his companion. Upon stepping outside, he found the air had cooled significantly and he could plainly see his breath fog in front of him. He slid his hands quickly into his blazer pockets and pulled Pansy in a bit closer. He chose to ignore the slight blush that rose on her cheeks. Be damned if she got the wrong idea. It would all be quite clear in a few minutes. The thought made his mouth go dry.

**  
**

As they push open the door of the Hog’s Head, he found it to be mostly empty, as usual.

This was definitely the place where people share secrets in hushed voice. Glancing around, he saw a comfortable looking chaise arranged to face a roaring fire, and gently guided them to sit. The corner was deserted, and he had to catch the eye of a friendly looking waitress before anyone even realized they are there.

**  
**

As he shrugged out of his blazer, he began to feel exceptionally nervous. After ordering a gin and tonic for himself and a glass of a Cabernet for Pansy, he decided he should probably start from the beginning. “Alright, well, this visit is clearly not purely a social call. I’ve been doing some soul searching, along with a healthy dose of traveling, and have decided there are some things from our past that you should be made aware of.”

**  
**

Pansy wrinkled her forehead slightly before responding. “That’s right! I forgot you were traveling with Blaise after graduation. In fact, just the other day, I had dinner with him and he talked quite extensively of your many adventures.”

**  
**

At the mention of Blaise, Draco nearly choked on his drink. She had talked to him? And he spoke about their travels? He had to swallow another sip of his drink to push down the fear that she already knew what he had to say. Now was not the time to lose his nerve. “Yes, we did. I can’t wait to hear what stories he has come up with. He always did tell wonderful stories.”

**  
**

Pansy laughed brightly. “Yes he did. But we didn’t come here to talk about that. You told me you had some epiphany or something to that effect, correct?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow slightly at his attempt to change the subject.

**  
**

“You are not one to waste time with small talk, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He chuckled slightly. This girl really was on a mission. He took another long sip before continuing. “As I have said, I have been doing a lot of thinking. You and I had a great relationship there for a while, didn’t we? I mean, I made you happy right?”

**  
**

Pansy looked at him with surprised though sympathetic eyes and grabbed his hand. “Of course Draco, you made me very happy. We just didn’t work. You are still the most gorgeous man I know and a damn good lay, but we have always been best friends.” She traced her thumb lazily on the top of his hand as she swirled her wine around her glass. “Draco, this isn’t you asking to get back together, right? Or worrying that I’m mad at you? Because if it is I-”

****  
  


“No no no, it’s not that! It’s just,” he stammered, trying to find the right words. “As thrilled as I was to have you forgive me so quickly when I ended our relationship, I do feel I owe you a truthful explanation.” She peered at him with thoughtful eyes, but otherwise made no attempt to respond.”Pansy, do you remember that party in fifth year? The one that all the boys threw in the common room?”

**  
**

She laughed as she took a sip of her wine. “How could I forget that? Tracey Davis and I were so mad that we got kicked out of our own common room. If I remember correctly, that was a particularly rambunctious party.” Seemingly deep in thought, she affixed Draco with a serious look. “You broke up with me maybe a day later.”

**  
**

Sometimes Draco was impressed by her seemingly endless ability to remember minute details like that, and he kicked himself for not thinking of it. “Yes, I did. I think it is only fair that you know the truth about why. You see, someone had snuck tequila into that party. I was only fifteen at the time so the closest I had been to liquor was when you and I would sneak bottle of champagne or nettle wine into the gardens at my parents socialite parties. Even those got us pissed.”

**  
**

Pansy laughed loudly, as she ordered a second glass for them both from a passing waitress. “Yes, how could I forget those parties? I remember once you tried to charm those pretty purple roses to have green tips instead of silver, which was an epic failure,” she recounted with a smile.

**  
**

“Yes, well, I have always been rubbish at charms. Did better then you though,” Draco pointed out. Pansy rolled her eyes dramatically at him. “Anyways, like I was saying, that night was my first experience with real alcohol. The beginning of the night was fine and I barely felt it, so I kept drinking. It wasn’t like I could let Theodore Nott best me. Though, looking back, I almost wish I had.” Draco found his eyes absently tracing the tiles on the floor, pointedly avoiding looking at Pansy.

**  
**

Whatever he had expected from her, her actual response was not it. She place a hand gently on his knee and spoke softly. “Draco, what happened at that party?”

**  
**

He was surprised by the lack of accusation in her voice. She almost sounded like she knew what was coming. He took a slow, steadying breath before he replied. “Pans, I cheated on you.” He looked up at her, so she did not think he was a coward, as he answered as honestly as he could. “There is more to it than that, though.” He had to consciously force himself to not fiddle with his hands out of nervousness. What he was about to tell her he had only said once before, and that had not exactly ended as planned.

**  
**

Pansy let out an exasperated sigh complete with another eye roll. “Draco, stop being so melodramatic. That was three years ago. We were kids and you were horny. It’s not like I’m exactly surprised by this revelation. Besides, no matter who she was, I know there’s no way she was a good as me.” As she said this, she absently trailed her hand over his thigh. It was all Draco could do to not forcefully shove her away.

**  
**

“That’s the thing. Like I said, there was more too it than that. I cheated on you with,” Draco paused. This was the point of no return, and though he knew that telling her was the right thing to do, part of him just wanted to stuff it back down and never speak about it again. “I cheated on you with Malcolm Baddock.”

**  
**

Pansy was quiet and her face unreadable for entirely too many moments for Draco to be ok with. Then, slowly, her lips began to turn up into a surprising smile. A moment later her shoulders began to shake. She was… laughing.

**  
**

“What in the hell is so funny about that?” Draco demanded.

**  
**

“Nothing, nothing,” Pansy claimed, though still barely suppressing her giggles in her glass of wine. “It just explains a lot, you know?”

**  
**

Draco scowled at her. “What is that supposed to mean?” He knew he was sounding childish, but he couldn’t help feeling like she was making fun of him.

**  
**

“Don’t get your knickers all in a twist, Draco. I simply am talking about us. You never seemed all that interested in me. When we would kiss or touch, you seemed detached from it. We always had fun together and you were always sweet with me. Though that much still hasn’t changed now.” Pansy paused, voice now contemplative and her giggles having finally subsided. “I suppose you and I just made sense. Both parents pure blooded with the same ideals. I think we were together more out of a sense of duty then actual want. Also, it does wonder for my confidence knowing that the real reason you did want me was because I had the wrong pipes.” Her voice was joking now, but not condescending.

**  
**

Draco nodded slightly, conceding to her point. He had always loved Pansy dearly, but a part of him had always known it was only duty that had pushed them together. He was more than a little happy she had sensed the same. He knew she had been in love with him though, so he was sure that, at the time, it hadn’t been easy for her. He ordered them a third round of drinks before responding. “Well I’m glad you’re capable of being such an adult about this. I was worried you would hate me. I know how important our relationship had been to you.”

**  
**

Pansy smiled slightly. “I won’t pretend I didn’t love you Draco, because I did. You were my first for nearly everything. And I also won’t pretend I’m not a little sad knowing that we have no potential for the future, after all you are a great lay.” She smirked at him over her glass at this. “But, at the end of the day, your happiness is the most important thing. You have always been the priority. I see no reason why that should change simply because your choice of paramor has.”

**  
**

Draco smiled sincerely at her this time. After all this time, he was happy to have at least one person in his corner capable of thinking with a clear head. And someone who was willing to put him first. The kindness of her words did not escape him, and he put his arm around her shoulders to give them a small squeeze. “Thank you. You really are my best friend, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

**  
**

Pansy shrugged with an air of nonchalance. “Die, I would imagine.”

**  
**

He laughed and shoved her with his shoulder, gaining himself a smile in return. Over the next few hours they talked about everything. Draco regaled her with his tales of travel and she told him of her exploits with the Muggle boy she met in France. They talked about the beautiful boy named Niklaus he had met in Prague with whom he lost many nights of his trip with Blaise and the many pubs they got kicked out of in Ireland. She told him about the new home her mother was having commissioned for her in Burgundy and the lavish parties he had been missing while on vacation. He told her of the laid back attitudes of people in California. And as they spoke, they drank more and more alcohol. And the more they drank the more interesting the stories became.

**  
**

“...and so I told him, ‘No sir, I will not do that with you. I am not a lady and he stalked off into the night. Needless to say I never saw him again.” Draco finished. His cheeks were flushed from drink and his speech was slightly slurred, but Pansy’s snorting laughter gave away that she was much worse off than he felt.

**  
**

“Goodness, if I knew American blokes were that interesting in bed I think I would have visited that country much earlier. You said you went to a place called California?” Pansy replied, between bouts of hiccups and laughter.

**  
**

Draco smiled. At least any of her future prospects would never have to wonder if she was a prude. “Yes Pansy, San Diego to be specific. It was Blaise’s idea. We stopped there for a week or so on our way to Cozumel. It was certainly an interesting place, but I think I preferred Mexico to be honest.”

**  
**

Pansy stretched her legs out, resting them across Draco’s thighs. He suspected she had probably had enough wine by now, but who was he to judge? She laughed at his statement a bit. “Oh that’s right, you guys ended your world trek in Mexico, didn’t you? Blaise had mentioned it when we got dinner. Though I was under the impression you were going to wind up somewhere in Argentina or Chile...”

**  
**

She rattled on for a while more about his potential untraveled destinations, but Draco could no longer hear her over the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears. Though he had been more than prepared to have the “gay” conversation with her, there was nothing in him that had been ready to explain Mexico. That had been three months ago and he had done everything he could to stop thinking about it. But sitting here now, after indulging in far too much gin, he felt the gentle calm of denial crashing down around his shoulders. He was going to have to face what he had done. He was going to have to tell Pansy what happened in Mexico.

**  
**

“Draco? Are you even listening to me?” Pansy said, breaking him out of his little bubble of certain doom with a sharp poke to his ribs.

**  
**

“Ow. Yes, I am. Okay well, just then I wasn’t, but I am now,” Draco replied honestly.

**  
**

Pansy released a long suffering sigh. “I said it seems odd to me that you would turn down all of those pretty, half naked Latin men to come home early for what Blaise called “family business.” You never gave a rat’s arse about family business before. What really happened, Draco?”

**  
**

It was a perfectly logical question, he surmised, but the answer was a bit more complicated. “And again, as per usual, you are correct. I don’t give a rat’s arse about anything related to my family business. Something happened on that trip that I am not exactly proud of.”

**  
**

“Ooo, sounds saucy. Who did you do?” Pansy said, as she recrossed her legs, clearly settling in for a story.

**  
**

“Don’t be crass, Pans.” Draco chastised with mock offense. “I didn’t ‘do’ anyone. But I guess, if you really want to know, I’m going to have to start from the beginning.”

**  
**

**June 22, 1999**

**  
**

Draco woke up with a pounding in his head so severe that the breathing of the man in the bed next to his was offensive to his ears. They were two days into their world travels and had already managed to get them kicked out of three pubs in Ireland for their antics. Granted, at least two of those were probably deserved, and he couldn’t really remember the third. Though, if his splitting migraine was anything to go off of, that was probably deserved as well.

**  
**

With a groan, he reached over and grabbed the bottle of hangover potion he had specifically placed within arms reach the day before knowing, full well, he would not want to get up and make his way to his bag for one. Downing it with one large gulp, he laid as still as possible as he felt the pain slowly drain from the area around his brain. As he waited, he tried to think back over the nights events. Though fuzzy on the rest, his last clear memory was the now snoring man in the bed next to his suggesting they get a drink called an Irish carpet bomb… or something like that.

**  
**

As the last of the pain subsided from his weary bones, he reached over and prodded Blaise right between the ribs. “Oi, you bloody git, wake up. It’s nearly,” Draco cast a quick wandless tempus, and groaned as he saw how late it was, “two in the afternoon. We slept the whole bloody day away.” When Blaise hardly stirred, he jabbed him one more time before giving up. That man wouldn’t wake up even if a grindylow was gnawing on his leg.

**  
**

Getting up, he went to the shower to wash away the grime he could feel seeping into his hair and skin. Smokey bars, tons of beer, and more than a few cheap floozy’s left him feeling gross. He couldn’t stop the smile that crept across his normally stoic features. The night had been more fun than he had had in ages. The best part had been not getting a single stinging hex or jelly legs jinx now for days. He had spent nearly a week now not as Draco Malfoy, former Death Eater and bane of the Wizarding world, but as Draco, fun guy who drinks too much and gets kicked out of Muggle bars. This, he surmised, was enough to accept being shamelessly flirted with by women who truly never stood a chance.

**  
**

Stepping into the shower, he let the scalding water cascade over his shoulders, and gave himself the chance to think about his most recent fling. He realized he could barely remember his name or face. It had been a long time since he last had a secret liaison with one of the many men who wanted his attention. Being an incredibly attractive man had its perks, and his station afforded him the kind of secrecy he required to keep the trysts beneath his fathers notice. But now, being out of school, he was expected to find a bride and pop out an heir. Just the thought alone made him sick. Eventually he would have to admit to everyone that he was, in fact, a ponce. And beyond that, he had little desire for offspring. He rolled his eyes hard. That would surely go over well. Though he was unsure why he hasn’t at least told his friends. Not even Pansy or Blaise knew. He was certain they would not be so quick to judge him as many others would undoubtedly be, yet he was still scared.

**  
**

After scrubbing the remains of the previous night's debauchery from his skin, he stepped out into the steam-filled bathroom, towel slung low on his hips, and regarded himself in the ornate mirror. His body was lean and defined from seven years of Quidditch. Though not bulky like Viktor Krum, he was certainly muscular. His skin was milky white and nearly flawless, save for the three scars that bloody Potter had left across his chest and the rapidly fading dark mark on his left forearm. He was tall, with sharp angular features and his eyes were a striking grey. As he regarded himself, he understood how so many men and women could find him attractive. Unfortunately, after a night, most were not able to keep his attention. Just once, he hoped he could find someone to keep his thoughts as busy as his hands.

**  
**

“Perhaps, if you stare at yourself a bit longer, you may actually be able to pass Pansy in levels of vanity,” Blaise said, interrupting his inspection of his form. He was leaning cooly against the frame of the open bathroom door.

**  
**

Draco scowled hard at his snarky travel companion. “Sod off Zabini. When did you even wake up, and how the bloody hell are you so chipper?”

**  
**

Blaise chuckled before pushing himself upright and coming to look in the mirror himself. “I told you mate, I don’t get hangovers unless I drink brandy.” He said, absently fixing his already perfect hair. “I reckon it’s something in my blood.”

**  
**

Draco snorted, not amused. “Of course it is.”

**  
**

Blaise turned quickly and beamed at Draco, “so what’s on the agenda today, oh master planner?” He teased.

**  
**

“Just because I actually want to do more than get wasted and have cheap women blow me on this trip, doesn’t mean you constantly have to take the piss about it,” Draco replied, shoving past Blaise towards the dresser.

**  
**

Blaise rolled his eyes. “Always so sensitive. No wonder you and Pansy got on so well. You’re both a couple of girls.” He laughed loudly, the sound of which echoed off the cavernous ceiling of their penthouse room. “Besides, who ever said anything about cheap women?”

**  
**

Draco pointedly ignored his comment as he pulled a pair of dark denim jeans and a short sleeved black t-shirt on. It had been surprisingly warm since arriving in Ireland and he didn’t fancy sweating through a the typical button up and jumper he was accustomed to wearing. “Well, as for today, I was thinking we should go see Dublin Castle -” Blaise groaned. He had been none too happy about going to historic places, preferring to spend the entire trip completely pissed, “-and then we can go tour the Guinness Storehouse. Then for dinner I have managed to secure reservations at L’Ecrivain for their ten course dinner tasting menu.”

**  
**

Blaise came over with a face splitting grin and hit Draco on the shoulder, a bit too hard to be friendly. Sometimes the man seriously underestimated his own strength. “Now that is what I’m talking about. Good beer, classy food, and then we can follow it by finding another pub to get kicked out of while I try to get you to unclench and take a girl home. This is exactly what we need.”

**  
**

* * *

  


Nearly six hours later, Draco and Blaise were sitting out on one of the many ornate terraces of the world renowned L’Ecrivain, puffing on rich and earthy cigars, while they watched the people stroll by on their way to the nearby canal. Draco couldn’t help but be in a wonderful mood. Despite initial protests from Blaise, they had managed to really enjoy the castle tour. Draco suspected that this had something to do with the redhead and blonde girls who spent most of the tour giggling at them both, but he was just happy they had gotten in to see King’s Chapel. The afternoon sun spilled a cacophony of color as it passed through the large stained glass windows that made Draco’s breath catch. He had only ever seen this place in photographs, and he was thrilled to finally be here. The tour of Guinness was fun as well, though Blaise certainly got more out of it than Draco. Draco had always enjoyed wine and whiskey more than beer, but the process was interesting. Even he had to admit that muggles had come up with some extremely creative ways to work around their disability of having no magic.

**  
**

The dinner had by far been Draco’s favorite part of the day. Each course was expertly paired with a corresponding wine. Each dish was cooked to perfection, from the brown butter scallops over an olive croquette, tender rabbit over a bed of arugula, and lamb with a mushroom puree, all the way to the dark rum creme brulee. It was one of the best meals he had had the pleasure of eating. By the end of the meal, both he and Blaise were well on their way to being drunk.

**  
**

So now they sat outside, enjoying the cool air with a bottle of wine whose price tag most would have baulked at and a few cigars. The smoke wrapped around their heads and drifted off into the night. Draco took a long breath and made a decision. He needed to tell Blaise the truth. If there was ever a time it was now, when they were both warmed by rich alcohol and decadent food. With that thought propelling him, he stood up abruptly, shaking Blaise from the dreamy stupor he had been in. “Blaise, I need to talk to you about something.” Suddenly Draco felt his throat go dry. He could do this. He had to do this.

**  
**

Blaise affixed a serious look on his face before responding. “Alright mate, have at it.”

**  
**

Draco swallowed through a mouth that felt like sandpaper. He immediately regretted the decision of his cigar and set it on the bench he had previously occupied. Despite himself, he couldn’t manage to look his friend in the eye. “Do you remember that party where all the Slytherin’s blacked out after drinking tequila? The one where Malcolm Baddock turned up naked in someone else’s bed and no one knew how he got there or why?”

**  
**

Blaise scrunched his forehead for a moment, before clarity passed over his features. “Oh yeah! I nearly forgot about that. Man, that was quite the party. I nearly ended up sleeping with Tracey Davis that night. Thank god I passed out on the couch in the common room. What about it?” Blaise looked thoughtful and slightly suspicious. Draco swallowed again.

**  
**

“The thing is, I actually do know why he ended up naked in a random bed.” He paused, trying to force the words to come out. “Because I woke up in that bed too. Also naked.” Draco winced as he said these last words, waiting for Blaise to get mad or laugh at him. After a moment or two of silence he looked up at the dark eyes across from him and saw no malice, only confusion. He realized he would have to elaborate. He rolled his eyes at let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m gay, Blaise.”

**  
**

Blaise sat there for a few more moments, seeming to contemplate this before a wide grin spread across his face. “Does that mean I get to shag Pansy now?”

**  
**

Draco punched Blaise in the shoulder, causing the man to double over laughing. “Shove off, you wanker. No. And don’t laugh, I’m being serious here.”

**  
**

To his credit, Blaise did try to stifle his laughs in his collar, but the effort was apparently too much. Eventually Draco joined in, both men laughing themselves breathless, and earning more than one glare from a passerby. Once settled back down, Draco grabbed his cigar again and rejoined Blaise on the bench. Draco took a few long drags before speaking again. “So you really aren’t mad at me or anything? You don’t hate me or think I’m disgusting or something?”

**  
**

Blaise abruptly turned his body toward Draco and locking chocolate brown eyes on his. “Draco, you are my best mate. We have been through hell together, survived a war together. Quite frankly I don’t care if you prefer fish to women.” He clapped a hand down roughly on Draco’s shoulder. “I am here for you. I support you. And anyone who doesn’t can just bugger off for all I’m concerned. Though I will say it explains why I can never get you to take home any of the women who drape themselves on you”

**  
**

Draco laughed. He had never felt as free or as light as he did in this moment. He knew there was still a long way to go before he could feel secure in who he was, but this was certainly a good start. “Thanks for that. It means a lot.”

**  
**

Blaise stood just as abruptly as he had turned around and held a hand out for Draco to get up. “Now come on you bloody fairy. Let’s go get pissed and see if we can get kicked out of a couple more pubs.”

**  
**

**December 28, 1999**

**  
**

“So did you?” Pansy drawls, finishing off her ninth or tenth glass of wine.

**  
**

Draco cocked an eyebrow up in question. “Did we what?” He asked.

**  
**

“Find another pub to get kicked out of?” Pansy asked with an eyeroll, as if what she was saying was the most obvious thing in the world.

**  
**

Draco laughed loudly as he downed the last of his drink as well. “You will be proud to note that we managed to get kicked out of two pubs and a wine bar that evening. There was a reason we ended up leaving for Prague the next day, two days early.”

**  
**

Pansy smirked up at Draco. “Not that you were complaining. Isn’t that where you met Niklaus?”

**  
**

Draco felt a wistful look come over his face at the memory. Yes, Prague had been very good to him. “Ah yes, my dear Niklaus. He was quite the gem. Lost nearly a week in that boys bed. Shame he was a muggle.” He reflected back on the memory. Blaise had been none too pleased to lose his travel companion, but Draco just hadn’t been able to help himself. He sighed wistfully before continuing. “Remind me to tell you the story of Prague sometime, it really is a scream. Regardless, the real story picks back up nearly three months later in Cozumel.”

**  
**

“Really, that long later?”Pansy said, uncrossing and recrossing her legs, before tucking them up under herself. Draco chuckled at the familiar gesture that she normally pretended was far too uncouth for her. Yes, it was time for her to lay off the wine. “Nothing interesting happened in Monaco? Singapore? Salem?” She drawled in her mocking tone.

**  
**

Draco rolled his eyes at her, earning him a small kick to the shins. “Yes, many things interesting happened, but none of them particularly relevant to the story. Now, let me continue. As I was saying, our story picks up by the turquoise waves of Cozumel.”

**  
**

**September 21, 1999**

**  
**

Draco was in a state of complete and utter bliss. The last three days had been spent just as he was now, sprawled out on a lounge chair with the hot summer sun on his face, a bright drink with an umbrella in his hand, and crystal clear waves rolling in lazily near his feet. As it turned out, his skin would develop a light sprinkling of freckles after days in the sun and the normally milky hue of his alabaster skin would begin to take on a light glow. He found he rather liked the color, as it looked less like the version of him he had left under the cloud cover of Britain. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

**  
**

As he took a long sip of his bright blue drink, he smiled. He could hear the booming sound of Blaise’s infectious laugh from down the beach as he, no doubt, flirted shamelessly with some muggle girl with big breasts and cotton candy for brains. Opening his eyes slightly beneath his new sunglasses, he saw that Blaise was leaning his incredibly toned arms on a low counter of the beachside bar chatting up a blonde girl in a white bikini her chest barely fit in. Draco laughed to himself, at least he was consistent. A minute or two later, a shadow moved into his sun. Draco didn’t even bother opening his eyes. “Blaise, you are going to ruin my newly perfected tan. Remove yourself from my sun at once before I have you removed.” Blaise didn’t move, and Draco rolled his eyes before propping himself up on one arm and opening his eyes. His companion was beaming at him and, surprisingly, alone. “Alright, what is it? What has you looking so damn chipper?”

**  
**

At that Blaise spun and plopped inelegantly onto the sand beside the chair. “I think I may be in love.” He said.

**  
**

Draco rolled his eyes again before resuming his previous position, soaking up the late afternoon rays. “Again? Really? How fortunate for you. Not for her of course, seeing as we are leaving for Puerto Rico in two days. Though, I suppose maybe luck is on her side in that case.” Blaise smacked his arm hard, making Draco laugh again. It did hurt, Blaise was quite a bit stronger than Draco, but he simply feigned nonchalance as he tucked his arm up under his head. “So what’s this one’s name?”

**  
**

“Mary.” Blaise said in a dreamy, faraway voice. “She’s from America and here on holiday with her girlfriends. And she’s gorgeous.”

**  
**

“Yes, that is the best quality to look for when deciding you are in love with someone. So tell me Blaise, how did she take the news that you are a wizard?” Draco teased.

**  
**

Blaise sighed heavily, and the frown was audible in his tone. “Shove off bloody wanker. I can be in love with whomever I want for whatever reasoning I choose.”

**  
**

Draco snorted. “Right.” Draco snapped, inexplicably annoyed. “Look, I’m sick of you falling in “love” with every other woman you meet on this damn trip. You are not in love, though with a mother like yours I’m not surprised you don’t know the difference. You probably don’t even remember most of their names. You wouldn’t know love if it hit you with a stunner to the chest.”

**  
**

The shadow of Blaise quickly blocked the sun from his face again. “Fuck you Draco.” Blaise’s voice dripped with venom, but still Draco couldn’t bring himself to take back what he had said. Malfoy’s never apologize. “At least I’m trying to find love as opposed to being a closed up ice prince like you. You are going to end up old, alone, and lonely because you shut everyone out. And I’m done with it.” With that Blaise stalked away, kicked up sand as he went.

**  
**

How dare he! Draco didn’t shut people out and he certainly wasn’t an ice prince. It wasn’t his fault that he had more discerning tastes. Draco would never be the type to fall head over feet for every moony eyed muggle boy who glanced his way. He wanted someone special, someone he could connect with. He needed someone who could challenge him and keep up with him and someone he could be himself with. Blaise just wanted someone to keep his bed warm. One day it was going to catch up to him though, and Draco wasn’t going to be there to pick up the pieces when his heart got broken.

**  
**

That night, Draco took dinner alone and went to bed early, still mad.

**  
**

The next day when he awoke the sun was just beginning to peek through the early morning haze. A quick tempus revealed it to only be 7:30 and Draco groaned. This was supposed to be vacation. He should be waking up in the afternoon with a killer hangover and smelling like a bar. Surely that was how Blaise would be, he thought with a scowl. But, there was really no use trying to get back to sleep now. He was wide awake, so he might as well make the best of it.

**  
**

A short while later Draco headed down to the large, beachside pool for a swim. As of yet there were few people there, and he knew a dip in the cool water would help jumpstart his system. This was the one thing he would insist to his parents on installing as soon as he returned to the manor. As the cool water rushed over his skin with each stroke, he could feel his cares from the previous day washing away. Though Draco had always enjoyed a good dip in the pool, the technique he had picked up from the attractive diver in Sri Lanka a month prior had shown him how good of a release swimming could be. The repetitive motion of going back and forth through the pool coupled with the depravation of your senses afforded by the water helped steady his mind. He also learned the pool was a great place to have sex with said attractive diver, though he supposed that wasn’t relevant right now.

**  
**

Unfortunately though, the new clarity afforded him by the swim was accompanied by the overwhelming wash of guilt now pooling in his stomach. While Draco did feel Blaise was much too quick to assign words like “love” to each of his new conquests, insulting his mother in the process had been out of line. After the wars hopelessness and the way they had been treated like outcasts when they went back to Hogwarts for an eighth year, it was no small wonder that Blaise had felt the need to seek out acceptance in the arms of any that would invite him. Finishing a final lap, Draco got out of the pool and headed for his room. As much as it pained him to do so, he was going to have to swallow his pride and apologize.

**  
**

Going up the private elevator that reached best suite in the hotel, Draco couldn’t help being frustrated at himself. He wasn’t sure why it irked him that Blaise brought home a different girl almost every night of this sodding trip. His friend had always been a bit of a heartbreaker, even in school, so it shouldn’t have surprised him. Though, was it wrong for him to expect at least a little bit of attention from Blaise on this trip? They were supposed to be on it together after all. Though, really, Draco had spent a number of nights in the beds of various men, so who was he to judge? Draco huffed and rolled his eyes as the elevator dinged announcing his arrival to the 42nd floor. Really, he needed to stop assuming he was going to be the center of everyone’s world.

**  
**

Stepping into the suite, he immediately went to Blaise’s door and knocked before he could talk himself out of it. “Blaise?” He said after a few moments of silence. Draco cursed himself and covered his eyes before slowly opening the door. “I’m coming in so cover up.” Stepping into the grand room, he slowly uncovered his eyes and took it in. The walls were covered in art and tapestries and the pale carpet floor was mostly covered in elaborately woven rugs. It was similar to his room, but with more green hue’s than Draco’s blue room The four poster mahogany bed was adorned with a fluffy, white quilt that made it look much like a cloud and the pillows were strewn about haphazardly. But, suspiciously, there was a serious lack of chocolate skin to contrast the white. Blaise, it appeared, was nowhere to be found.

**  
**

For a moment Draco felt a surge of panic through his chest. What if Blaise had left him? Had he screwed up one of the precious few friendships he had left? Would Blaise really just disappear without even trying to make things right? Draco stumbled backwards, nearly knock a small statue off of a low dresser and turned around in panic. These thoughts propelled him out the door of Blaise’s room…

**  
**

...and smack dab into the man in question, sending a platter of croissants, huevos rancheros, and mimosas tumbling to the ground. For a moment or two they both just stood there, mouths aghast at the scene, before both men descended into a fit of laughter that left them both breathless and clutching their sides.

**  
**

“I’m so sorry about that.” Draco started.

**  
**

“No, no, that was my bad. I was going way too fast.”

**  
**

“True, but I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

**  
**

“No but if I hadn’t been there-”

**  
**

Draco put his hand on the other man’s shoulder silencing his protest. “How about if it’s no ones fault and we go downstairs and get some new breakfast.” Draco said with a grin.

**  
**

Blaise hesitated a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, alright.” And with a flick of his wand, the ground and their clothes were both clear of any food debris. “As long as there are mimosas.”

**  
**

Draco clapped his hand down before leading them both from the room. “Really Blaise, I can’t believe you think I would have breakfast any other way.”

**  
**

An hour later both men were stuffed to the brim with sweet rolls, eggs, waffles, sausage, bacon, and whatever else the extensive breakfast buffet had to offer. They were also both fairly drunk. Over breakfast nothing important had come up. Blaise told Draco about how Mary had left with her friends that morning without saying goodbye. Draco told Blaise about his plans to coerce his father into installing a pool at the manor. They ordered drink after drink, arguing light heartedly about how they should spend the day, and finally they settled on spending it exploring the wizarding part of the city next to the town they had been in this week.

**  
**

The nice thing for them both was that here, in Mexico, no one knew who they were. Though some of their classmates had undoubtedly left for other lands to study, there were no large wizarding communities or school for hundreds of miles around them. So as they explored the unique shops and restaurants of this waterfront village, no one looked at them funny or even gave them a passing glance. Draco couldn’t help loving the freedom, to be a wizard in public, with no fear of being called death eater scum. Even if they did, he wouldn’t be able to understand them anyways.

**  
**

After a few hours of wandering, they came across a shop with many different bottles in the window, all different shapes and colors, but each filled with a mysterious brown liquid. When Draco looked over at Blaise, the other man had a wicked grin on his face that made something dangerous and hot pool in the lower part of his stomach. A moment later he was being dragged inside a store filled with even more of those strange bottles filled with mysterious brown liquid. Whatever was coming was going to get him in trouble somehow, he just knew it.

**  
**

“Hola,” said a short, plump woman from behind the counter. Her jet black hair was piled on top of her head, and her face looked as if it had enjoyed many summers in the sun if her wrinkles were anything to go by. Despite her trustful looking face, Draco was still wary of what was coming. “Welcome to my shop. My name is is Rosa, are you here for a tasting?”

**  
**

Blaise grinned widely as he shook her hand. “Yes madam, we would love a tasting.”

**  
**

Rosa smiled warmly. “Wonderful, that will be sixty pesos each. If you head right to the back, my son Miguel will be able to set you up.”

**  
**

After paying, Draco wandered past rows and rows of these strange bottles and found himself getting more and more concerned. As he looked more closely at a foggy green bottle, he realized he recognized one word on the bottle and he nearly dropped it. Stumbling back he looked around and it was as if that word was suddenly reaching out to him from every corner of the store, from every label, and from every sign. Now he knew why Blaise had shot him those wicked grins. Now he knew why he was here. Every single one of these bottles had the same word scrawled across its label and was filled with the same thing. Tequila.

**  
**

Draco began to panic, while at the same time getting angry. He caught Blaise by the arm and spun him around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing bringing me in here?” Draco whispered with as much venom as he could muster. “Did I not make it abundantly clear that I absolutely do not drink Tequila? We are not doing this.”

**  
**

Blaise’s face melted from frustration to confusion to another obnoxious grin as Draco chastised him. “Oh sod off Draco.” Blaise said, before letting out one of his trademark booming laughs. “We are doing this, I’ve already paid, and it would be very rude to ask for a refund now.” Blaise yanked at Draco’s arm, pulling him deeper into the shop toward an open warehouse door that, undoubtedly, led to the tasting room. “Besides, it’s just me. How much trouble do you really think you can get in with me?”

**  
**

Draco grumbled as he allowed himself to be pulled through the door. “Famous last words,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. His feeling outside had been right. This was most definitely going to get him into some kind of trouble.

**  
**

The back room was significantly more open than Draco had expected. Instead of rows upon rows of glass bottles, there was simply a low table in the back with seven or eight bottles on it and a number of small cups. There were a couple of machines Draco had learned to be called refrigerators that had glass fronts behind the table that also had a few bottles in them. As they entered, a young man he assumed was Miguel turned around from something he was tinkering with in the corner of the room. The man was short and lean, with dark hair down to his shoulders and a messy mustache above a kind smile. His eyes were a warm amber and slightly glassy, as if he had been enjoying the tastings as much as the customers. Draco smirked at the thought.

**  
**

“Hola! My name is Miguel,” he said, reaching out to shake Blaise’s hand. “Welcome to our store. I assume you are here for the tequila tasting?”

**  
**

Blaise chuckled a bit before answering. “Yes we are. We have already paid your lovely mother, and she told us to come back and see you.”

**  
**

“Yes, yes, come right on up.” Miguel began busying himself pouring out two samples from each of the bottles on the table as he chatted idly with Blaise about alcohol content, brewing processes, and the various plants each of the variates was made from.

**  
**

Draco missed all of it. He could feel his heart beating wildly in his ears and severely considering bolting out the door and apparating back to the hotel. Absolutely no good could come from drinking this tequila. After last time he swore he never would again. He didn’t fancy waking up in some strangers bed in the middle of Mexico with no memories of where he was or how he got there. Just as he was about to make a run for it, Blaise turned a beaming smile around on Draco and handed him the first plastic cup of ruddy liquid and he suddenly remembers why Blaise always got what he wanted.

**  
**

Draco downed it in one.

**  
**

An hour later they both stumbled out of the shop, and Draco found himself in a surprisingly good mood. Though clearly drunk, his head felt much more clear than it had last time. Or, at least what he could remember of last time. They had each tried ten different varieties of tequila. There were three silvers and three gold of varying quality, two aged tequilas, one coffee flavored tequila, and finally a chocolate tequila. The last had been Draco’s favorite so he bought a bottle, determined to share it with Pansy the moment he got home. Assuming he didn’t finish it off tonight of course. All in all, he was glad Blaise had dragged him in there against his will, not that he would ever admit that.

**  
**

“So Draco,” Blaise began, vowels and consonants slurring together in a way that was too funny not to laugh at. “Shut up, don’t laugh at me. What I was saying was, that was fun.” As they walked, he slung a heavy arm around Draco’s shoulders, nearly knocking them both into a fountain they were passing, and earning another round of hearty laughter from Draco.

**  
**

“Yes, I suppose that wasn’t entirely unpleasant.” Draco said, attempting to right himself below the imposing weight of his best friend without falling into something. “But now I’m drunk and hungry. Did we even eat lunch? What time is it?”

**  
**

Blaise gave a booming laugh that Draco could feel reverberating in his chest, which was a strange but not altogether unpleasant feeling.”Whoa there, one question at a time big guy. First, yes, food sounds like a great idea. I’m thinking tacos. There’s a place right near the hotel that smelled great. Let’s check it out.”

**  
**

At the word tacos, Draco’s stomach announced to him just how long it had been since they had eaten. As god as he felt, tequila just was not a substitute for a meal. “Yeah, alright. Tacos it is. And also, I very much doubt we ate lunch if the gnawing in my stomach is any indication.”

**  
**

Blaise grinned at Draco which made his stomach do a back flip, which was very strange. “Well then,” Blaise said, “let’s not waste any time.” And with that he grabbed Draco firmly around the waist and apparated them behind the restaurant, scaring a flock of gulls as they arrived.

**  
**

If Draco hadn’t been so furious, he may have noticed the warmth spreading from Blaise’s arm around him or the way his skin smelled of sweat and spice. In fact, if he hadn’t been so angry, it may have been intoxicating. As it were, Draco decided to flatly ignore those thing, because he was livid. “Are you out of your bloody mind Zabini?” He yelled, catching the attention of a few passers by. He lowered his voice to a strained whisper. “You can’t apparate when you’re this pissed. We could have been spotted, you could have splinched us!” Suddenly feeling much more sober, Draco began checking his body to make sure he was still all there.

**  
**

At Draco’s frantic checking, Blaise just laughed himself to the point of crying. Draco sneered at him, though he was sure the effect was seriously lessened by the amount of tequila in his blood. When Blaise finally stopped laughing, he had the audacity to look slightly offended. “Really Draco, splinched? In case you’ve forgotten, I was the fastest in our class at learning apparition. Got it in one. Even on my worst day, I’ve got to be better then you. Who do you think I am, Susan Bones?”

**  
**

After ascertaining that he was, in fact, all there, he punched Blaise in the arm as hard as he could. “I should hex you for that.” He said, though much of the anger had left his voice. Blaise did have a point. He has passed the test to get his license before most of the other kids in school even had a chance to figure out the theory of the subject. “But fine, I’m all here. You’re just lucky I’m too hungry to waste my precious energy on you.”

**  
**

Blaise rolled his eyes dramatically. “Whatever you say, Prince Draco.” He said, with a small bow and an unmistakable smirk. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

**  
**

The inside of the restaurant was already packed with people. There were dozens of tables, many pushed together, with all manner of people around them. It had an open concept that made patio and restaurant blend together seamlessly, and everyone appeared to already be drunk. With luck, they happened to slide into a couple of stools at the end of the bar that were just being vacated by a young, hispanic couple, and Blaise immediately signaled the bartender. Before Draco knew what was happening, there were two drinks Blaise called cadillacs in front of them along with two menus. They ordered a variety of tacos, and then settled back with their drinks to scan the crowd.

**  
**

What Draco had not noticed upon entering was that, toward the back of the open air patio, was a large dance floor with a band. The music was so different than anything he was used to. There were a number of instruments he didn’t recognize and the beat was fast and driven. All of the men in the band played with passion and the dance floor matched it’s rhythm. Men and women moved together, and it was one of the most sensual things he had ever seen. Theres bodies, clad in very little clothing due to the heat, moved together in a way he had only ever moved with someone in bed. Their hands roamed each others bodies and the heat between each pair was visible. Despite feeling his face heating in something close to embarrassment, he found he couldn’t look away. Minutes passed by, and he found himself entranced. It wasn’t until Blaise literally shoved him that he tore his eyes away.

**  
**

“Oi, Draco, you going to be ok mate?” Blaise said, not even trying to hide his smile.

**  
**

“What?” Draco said, slightly dazed. “Oh yeah I’m fine.” As he talked, he realized his drink was gone and his food had arrived. He began eating, if only to distract from his temporary hypnosis. “Food’s good.”

**  
**

Blaise wasn’t fooled. He continued to look out at the dance floor Draco had been transfixed by a moment before, smirk set in place. “So, I can see you were enjoying the view. Not that I blame you.” Blaise signaled for two more drinks as he let the silence build up, knowing he was making Draco’s mortification out even further. “I mean, they might as well be fucking out there.” He said, finally, followed by his signature booming laugh.

**  
**

Draco swallowed deeply, before deciding to ignore Blaise’s comment completely. Something about the way he said the word fucking had caused a warm jolt to snake down his spine. Draco decided he should ignore that too. He took a long sip of his new drink before responding. “So, I was thinking we could go down to El Cedral ruins for a tour and then maybe do some snorkeling tomorrow. We only have a couple more days here before we head to Argentina, so I don’t want to miss-”

**  
**

Blaise snorted loudly, before putting a hand down, roughly, on Draco’s leg. His proximity and lazy smile shut Draco up immediately. Blaise smelled oddly of licorice and musk, which Draco decided was the most dangerous and intoxicating thing to come out of this evening. Blaise smiled up, looking through his long eyelashes. “You seriously need to lighten up, Draco.”

**  
**

“I’m plenty light Blaise” Draco mocked, leaning back as nonchalantly as he could. There was no way Draco Malfoy was going to be won over by the charms of Blaise Zabini.

**  
**

Blaise laughed before getting a dangerous twinkle in his eyes. Again, Draco knew that there was trouble coming. Suddenly, Blaise grabbed Draco by the hand. “Come on ‘Mr. Light’ let’s go dance.”

**  
**

“What?” Draco shrieked, “Are you serious? I’m still eating, the dance floor is full of couples, and you are straight as an arrow.”

**  
**

Blaise snorted again, before dragging him father. Draco cast a last longing look at his tacos and bar stool. Though he tried to fight, he knew that he was going to be dancing, no matter what he wanted. “First of all, your food can wait. Second, there are plenty of people on the dance floor. We don’t have to be together.”

**  
**

Draco looked up, and horrifyingly realized Blaise was right. In the time Draco had looked away, the tempo had increased and the dance floor had filled with various groups of three and four, along with quite a few single men. Men danced with men, women with women, and no one seemed to care. Everyone seemed to be moving together to the rapid beat. Despite himself, the mix of too much tequila and hypnotic drums pulled him forward. When Draco started to move along with the crowd, Blaise beamed and began moving as well.

**  
**

As the sun slipped below the horizon, the twinkling lights above them illuminated the dance floor. Food forgotten, Draco was completely engrossed in the beat. Between the bongos and the lights, the maracas and the bodies, Draco let go. It was one of the best feelings he had know. After spending years under the thumb of a maniacal madman, being on a dance floor with no concerns except for a beat and a drink was the best thing he could imagine. For once, he didn’t have to be the Malfoy heir or an ex death eater. He was just a boy, dancing with his friend, far away from anyone who knew him. For once Draco was happy.

**  
**

Looking back months later, he wasn’t surprised that he would fuck it up.

**  
**

But that night, Draco honestly felt like things could possibly stay this good forever. Maybe he just wouldn’t go home. He could stay out in the real world, where no one knew his face, dating whoever he chose, eating and drinking until his heart's content. Maybe he would find a flat in one of the countries he had visited and get a lover. As he looked over at Blaise, his best friend, he thought maybe this could be both their lives.

**  
**

Blaise had his hands in the air, people all around him, dark features illuminated by sparkling lights, and it was then that Draco realized just how beautiful he was. This was why girls fawned over him. This was why he could have anyone he wanted. Draco found that he was rather jealous, though at the moment he couldn’t tell if it was of Blaise for having it so easy or these other people for stealing his attention away. At the moment he didn’t care. All that mattered was that tonight, Blaise was here with him, and he couldn’t have been happier.

**  
**

It was as he was thinking this that Blaise opened his eyes and stared directly at Draco. The smile that slowly spread across his smooth lips felt as if it was only for Draco. After that, Draco couldn’t help himself. He polished off the last of his sixth margarita and slid his way to Blaise’s side. Tentatively he wound his arms around the other man, and continued to circle his hips. Blaise did not protest. The more they danced, the more people seemed to stare. Draco couldn’t help enjoying the attention. _Yes_ , he thought, _this is how it’s supposed to be. All eyes on me. Wanting me. Wanting us_.

**  
**

As if on cue, Blaise turned around. His chocolate eyes drilled holes through Draco’s and he found his breath caught in his throat. Before he knew what he was doing he had reached a hand behind Blaise’s head and crashed their lips together.

**  
**

Another moment later, sobriety hit him right between the eyes. Blaise was frozen to the spot, and definitely not kissing him back. Why had Draco even kissed him? Pulling back in horror, he saw the look reflected back at him through the other’s eyes. What had he done?

**  
**

“Draco, what the fuck was that.” Blaise said, a little louder than necessary. “Why would you - I mean - that’s very - but I’m not -” He stammered out his words, but was apparently at a loss for what to say, voice somewhere between horrified and furious.

**  
**

The room began to spin around him as Draco tried to pull in steady breaths. There was too much music, too many people, it was too hot. He had to get out of here. He turned rapidly are tore his way through the irritated crowd. Draco barely noticed their protests. He had to escape. As he reached the entrance, he spared a quick glance backwards and saw Blaise, still standing exactly where he had left him, eyes wide with shock. Draco turned into the closest empty alley and apparated away.

**  
**

**December 28, 1999**

**  
**

“YOU KISSED BLAISE ZABINI” Pansy hollered as Draco finished his story.

**  
**

“Merlin Pansy, could you say it a little louder. I don’t think they heard you in Wales.” Draco replied, rolling his eyes. Though he had long gotten over the incident, it still made him flush when he thought of how badly that night had gone.

**  
**

“Sorry, it’s just-” Pansy began, tapping her bottom lip with her finger as she searched for the words. “It’s just, bizarre. I mean it’s Blaise! We have all know each other since we were four. He’s like a brother to me. And you kissed him.” After a moment or two of tense silence, Pansy burst out laughing.

**  
**

“It’s not funny Pans, I really fucked up.” Draco said, pouting his lip.

**  
**

“Sorry, sorry, I know. But it is a little funny.”

**  
**

“it most certainly is not. I ruined my friendship because I was drunk!”

**  
**

Pansy rolled her eyes at Draco’s scowl. “Oh lay off the hysterics. Everything is so melodramatic with you. So you got pissed and kissed your friend. Get over it.”

**  
**

Draco looked down, ashamed. “It’s not that simple”

**  
**

Pansy’s eyes got very wide as she regarded Draco. “Don’t tell me you’re in love with him.” She said in horror.

**  
**

“No!” Draco said by way of objection. “I don’t even have a crush on him. Like you said, he’s like a brother. It was just-” Draco chewed his lip, searching for a way to make her understand.

**  
**

Thankfully, she was able to fill in the blanks for him. “It was a beautiful night, you were at the top of your game, you were so pissed there was three of everyone, and he was there.”

**  
**

Draco breathed a sigh of relief. “Exactly!” He said, glad as ever for his best friend. “It was really nothing. But this is why I do not drink tequila.”

**  
**

Pansy started laughing again, though not as hard. When she finally came up for air, she looked at him as seriously as she could muster. “So what did he say when you talked to him about it?”

**  
**

Draco scuffed his heel on the ground, avoiding her eyes. “He didn’t say anything.” This was technically true, so he only felt a pang of guilt about the words.

**  
**

“Nothing?” Pansy asked, clearly confused. “That’s not like him. Zabini has an opinion on everything.”

**  
**

“Well, that may be because I haven’t talked to him since.” At this, Pany’s mouth dropped open but she said nothing. Draco pushed it closed with his finger. “Stop gaping you are gonna catch flies.”

**  
**

“You didn’t talk to him? You haven’t owled him or visited him or anything at all?” Her voice was incredulous. “Draco Lucius Malfoy what the bloody hell is wrong with you? He’s your best friend? How could you just not talk to him.”

**  
**

Draco groaned and put his head in his hands. “I _know_ Pans, don’t you think I know that?” And he did. Over the last few months he had written and rewritten over a dozen letter to Blaise and wound up tossing each of them into the fire as he nursed a tumbler of gin.

**  
**

“You need to fix this.” Pansy said, fury quickly being replaced with her typical, mothering instinct. “You can’t just let someone you care that much about walk away. It hurts like hell for both sides. Owl him Draco.”

**  
**

Draco sighed. She was right of course. She always was. Blaise had been a part of his life for as long as Draco could remember. That wasn’t the sort of thing you just let slip away because you are embarrassed. “I promise, right after the holidays I will write him”

**  
**

Pansy sat back, visibly placated. “Good then.” She yawned loudly, causing Draco to do so in return. After a quick tempus, they both realized it was far too late. “well Draco, it has been lovely seeing you, but I think I need to get home.”

**  
**

Draco nodded and stood, offering her a hand up. “Thats a good idea. I’ll walk you out.”

**  
**

Pansy smiled. “Thank you. Well, no matter what happens, I’m glad you invited me here today.” She said, as she slipped back into the heels Draco had just noticed she had slipped out of. “I’m glad you told me your secret. Maybe someday soon you will meet someone special. It’s just a matter of time after all.”

**  
**

As she slipped on her coat, he sighed again. “I don’t know Pansy. People aren’t exactly clawing down my door. Being an ex death eater tends to scare them off. That’s the only way anyone see’s-”

**  
**

As he talked he turned a corner quickly and ran head first into someone. As he began to apologized, he noticed a pair of round, wire framed glasses on the floor and stopped moving. Slowly he looked up and met an entirely too familiar pair of fiercely green eyes and raven black hair. “Watch where you’re fucking walking, Potter!”

**  
**

The other boy visibly bristled. “Seriously Malfoy? You walked into me!” He shouted.

**  
**

“Whatever Potter,” Draco said, ignoring the fact that Potter was right. “I forgot the entire world belongs to you. The golden boy has free reign and we should all be looking out for him.” Draco gave a small bow and motioned with his hand for Potter to pass.

**  
**

“Grow up Malfoy.” Potter huffed, and stormed off away from Draco and Pansy, who was standing in the corner by the door, burying her laughs in the hook of her arm. Draco was less than impressed and stormed out, determined to put that freak encounter behind him.

**  
**

When Pansy exited, she hooked her arm with Draco’s, and he shot her a look daring her to say anything. She didn’t. They walked a short ways to the nearest apparition point before either said a word.

**  
**

“Well, Draco,” Pansy said, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry about your trip. But look at it this way, you had an amazing vacation. And about what you said earlier, I think you’re wrong. I think love is right in front of you and you don’t even know it. For all you know, your soul mate could have been in that bar tonight.”

**  
**

Draco snorted. “Right, I certainly had my pick of choices.” He said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Honestly, I just don’t think love is in the cards for me.”

**  
**

“Oh honestly Dray,” he cringed at his awful nickname, “you are far too pretty to be alone.”

**  
**

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Draco said without his usual venom. Even that godforsaken nickname couldn’t shake him from his misery. “I just need someone who understand the war, who understand me. Who gets that I am more than a bad decision and is willing to give me the chance to prove I’m better then all of that. Someone who knows what it’s like to be unnecessarily judged.” Draco laughed, realizing his list of demands was ridiculous. “And while we’re at it, let’s get someone who thinks the Prophet is rubbish. That would help matters.”

**  
**

She stopped and took his hands, looking straight at him. “He’s out there, I know he is. You just have to be patient and let him find you. Just wait, it is going to happen when you least expect for it to.”

 **  
**Draco smiled slightly at her, wanting nothing more for that to be true. “Pansy, I sincerely hope you’re right.”


End file.
